the story of...


Source: Nike Berlin

My name is Z 1.789123 and I am the leader of a people from a planet called Zevykzod or just "Zevy" for short. Don’t be alarmed. We're mostly harmless. Unless you get between one of us and your sprinked donuts here on Earth.

Source: RedKap

After 4400 or so Earth years, we have finally decided to come out to you Earthlings.

How did we find ourselves stuck (sorry, "marooned") on your planet? It all started back on our colorful home planet, Zevykzod (pronounced zevee-KA-zahd).

The most popular entertainment show on Zevy (by a long shot) was entering it's 4400th season. The show (you Earthlings would recognize it as a "reality show") was called "365" and it followed the progress of, you guessed it, humans here on Earth.

We’d been watching humans since around the time the first pyramids went up. Yep, all those UFO sightings over the millennium, those were our camera ships. They're terrible at staying out of sight.

Anyhoo, a crisis hit our world. No, it wasn’t an asteroid strike or a planetary plague or anything like that. It was worse! The next 16 seasons of "365" was in jeopardy because our relay transmission site on Ganymede (one of Jupiter's moons for you Earth public school students) went down without warning. The technical staff for the show had no idea why.

One minute we're cheering for Charles Lindburgh’s primitive flight across the Atlantic Ocean...

...and the next minute, nothing. Our "live" feed (actually it was about 4 Earth years old because of the distance from our planet to yours)... it was dead.

Our cameras (or what you Earthlings call UFOs) that were documenting Earth for the show were all unmanned drones. So we had no production staff here on Earth at the time. An emergency meeting of The Mind of Elder Counsels was called and within a short period of time, a maintenance mission was formed and dispatched. I was the lead officer on that ill fated mission.

We left Zevy for your system in Earth Year (EY) 1932.

Traveling at .333 the speed of light, we arrived Ganymede on Earth date January 7th, 1947 for what we hoped would be a short visit to fix the relay station.

We had one challenge after another. But we finally got the relay back up and running within about 6 Earth months from the time that we arrived.

So far so good, right? Well, this is where our story takes a turn (or more accurately, a slide) for the worse. One of the other things we had to do while we were here in your solar system was to collect some copper supplies from Earth. Copper is a very rare element on our planet but relatively abundant here on Earth. So we were just going to do a quick stop over in an area of the US called Arizona.

Arizona has numerous copper mines and natural reserves so it was going to be a piece of cake. Just spend a few nights hovering over some shallow deposits and we'd have plenty of copper to take back to Zevykzod.

That's when everything started going sideways. And when I say sideways… I mean that quite literally.

We had just arrived at a big copper reserve right outside of Morenci Arizona when our gravity stabilizer started acting up.

Our craft started to slide sideways.

And when your vehicle can go more than 50,000 mph in Earth's atmosphere, the last thing you want to do is lose control of your gravity stabilizer.

In order to recover the craft, we had to temporarily disengage the stabilizer and because our craft relies solely on that device when we’re in a planetary atmosphere, we were at the mercy of the fundamental forces of gravity combined with our highly NON aerodynamic craft.

So not only were we not able to counteract gravity, our atmospheric directional capabilities were also nearly non existent. For a moment, all we could do was navigate in the X (horizontal) plane but not the Y (vertical) plane. Which we needed in order to get back out into space so we could remove gravity from the list of our problems, giving us time to fix the issue. Our craft is made for interstellar travel. Not maneuvering in dense atmospheres.

So our navigator, bless his heart, immediately pushed us east. This would allow us to use the rotation of the earth to give us the best chance for a gravitational boost out of your atmosphere, at the speeds we were able to travel (in a straight line). And the elevation in that direction was the most favorable for not running into a mountain in the process, since we had no ability to move in the vertical axis.

Okay. So that lasted for all of about 2 minutes. At which point, our gravity stabilizer went kapoot.

And that’s when we crashed outside the town of Roswell, NM.

Long story short, we are the aliens that crashed in 1947.

So we've been waiting for a rescue ship now for the better part of 74 Earth years. We finally had a glimmer of hope in EY 2017 when that object that your scientist called Omuamua was first spotted galavanting into your solar system.

It was definitely a rescue ship from Zevy. However, we knew there was something wrong because the craft would not have allowed itself to be seen if it wasn't under duress in some way. Unfortunately, it went right on through your solar system without stopping to help us. That’s probably because its automated recovery systems were trying to use the gravitational forces of your sun to boost its trajectory for a return home. Although even that appears to have been compromised since it didn’t go in the direction of our home.

Then the final straw was the transmission we received in 2019 from our home planet. Your radio telescopes picked up on it, too. They called it BLC1. That transmission had a type of modulation that only we can decipher. The code we received translates to "Permission to reveal presence, rescue has failed, no more rescue missions, you're on your own, 365 continues to this day. Thank you for your sacrifice! Live long and prosper." (Yep, we’re Star Trek fans, too. The entire galaxy is!)

Now that we’re on our own and we have permission to reveal ourselves, we have to try to build a new craft for our return home. So now we're raising the necessary funds to make that happen by offering our unique talents up for sale to you Earthlings. When you buy one of our goods or use one of our services, you’re contributing to our goal of building our new ship. And we have to do that since your government took ours back in 1947.

Our "capture" is a story we'll save for another day.

I think you’ll find the goods and services that our people offer are quite different than what you’ll typically find here on Earth. “Out of this world” products and services, if you will.

Anyway, that’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

Thanks for your time. We'll be linking to our various businesses here in the near future.

Be sure to follow us on twitter for the latest info on our products and services.

Made on mmm